South Park: Season 6

Who would you hire if you wanted to build a replica of the Great Wall of China? It would depend on the scale, how quickly it needed to be built and how much you were willing to spend, wouldn't it? We're not sure how much Twang Lu was paid for the wall that was constructed in the episode entitled Child Abduction Is Not Funny, but whatever the amount was, it couldn't have been worth the aggravation. Do you remember why he accepted the job?

Let's say you were born with a pair of balls on your chin. Would you let someone exploit that disfigurement on national television for a few hundred dollars? Probably not, right? How was Butters compensated for the humiliation he endured in Freak Strike?

If you ask us, we wouldn't change a thing about Raiders of the Lost Ark. The kids of South Park felt the same way in the episode entitled Free Hat. Their crusade to save the films they loved began after the re-re-release of The Empire Strikes Back. How did the altered version of that movie differ from the original cut of the film?

Even those who supported the boys' cause in Fun with Veal were left shaking their heads in disbelief after a cache of guns and ammunition was traded for a single, baby cow. Most of Cartman's demands were met. What we want you to do is to turn to the person on your left and ask for the same things, starting with the request that was denied.

Gaining weight… That's easy, right? Taking it off… just ask any person whose ever tried. We'd bet the house that there'd be at least one person crazy (desperate) enough to try sucking the fat out themselves if a do-it-yourself liposuction kit really did exist. What did the fat that was siphoned out of Butters in Jared Has Aides taste like? Need a hint? It wasn't butter.

Answers

Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society
$212 in nickels. She also offered to throw in her gold bracelet.

Child Abduction Is Not Funny
He reconsidered after Stan's dad remarked, "your ancestors (built) a great wall that kept Mongolians out for thousands of years. We know you can do it for us."

Freak Strike
He was given a free trip to the largest putt-putt course in the world.

Free Hat
The word "Wookiee" was changed to "hair-challenged animal" and the entire cast was digitally replaced by Ewoks.

Fun with Veal
"I want North and South Dakota, the FDA to change the word 'veal' to 'tortured baby cow,' a semi truck to transport the cattle to Denver International Airport, a fully-gassed airplane to take them to Mexico and the actor who played Worf on Star Trek: The Next Generation to drive the truck, in full make-up. I also want him to address me as 'Captain.'"

Jared Has Aides
Creamed chip beef

A Ladder To Heaven

1. Kyle

2. Lolly's Candy Factory

3. He didn't think he could handle the responsibility.

4. No

5. A cinder block

6. True

7. It was Jimbo. His character didn't have a nose.

8. Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning?

9. Yes

10. 700 miles (100 miles times 7 days)

11. Mr. Hiroichi's claim that the Japanese reached Heaven before the Americans did. The angels needed wires to fly.

12. A car seat, a fist and a rock

13. It may have, but from the looks of it, we'd have to say no.

14. He was talking to Stan's dad when he said that.

15. He was supposedly banished from Hell and sent to Heaven as punishment for trying to kill Satan's new lover after their homosexual relationship ended.

16. He called God a "stupid asshole" for believing the story he made up to hide his weapons plant.

My Future Self n' Me
One promised to make your wiener bigger in three weeks. The other was for an escort service that would massage your wiener for $95.

Professor Chaos

1. Yes, Butters didn't ask why he was fired.

2. "Where I go, destruction will follow!"

3. The price of admission to Coors Field and the amusement park.

4. The bowls of soup that were switched at Bennigan's would fall under the category of "Harmless Prank."

5. The extra time that it took to get Jimmy seated on the log ride.

6. They weren't asked to do anything. They were told to "get the fudge out!"

7. True, something else happened, as well. Watch the episode again for the answer to that question.

8. He thought the note was a trap set by the FBI.

9. He saw him change into his Professor Chaos costume in the school bathroom.

10. The hamsters that ran away

11. He couldn't remember the notes. His guitar also sounded like it was out of tune.

12. Yes, all Token did was tie his t-shirt into a bra.

13. Pip asked a vendor for some tea and crumpets.

14. Why did Professor Chaos' scheme to flood the world fail?

15. Hairspray

16. Token's, Cartman felt that one smartass was enough.

17. "Will Professor Chaos' plan to melt the polar ice caps work?" "Which boy has be chosen to be the replacement for Kenny?" and "Which of these six South Park residents was killed and will never be seen again?"

Red Sleigh Down
Token laughed for almost 20 minutes

Red Hot Catholic Love
Food that was broken down before it reached the stomach could reduce a person's cholesterol level and the risk of most stomach cancers.

The Return of the Fellowship of the Ring to the Two Towers

1. Stan's dad, Stan, Butter's dad, Butters, Kyle, a sixth grader, Clyde and Token.

2. A piece of pecan pie with toffee ice cream and magic shell

3. The Great Wizard of Gregendath and The Great Wizard of Moltiloch

4. Turquoise

5. They were upstairs, in another part of the house, doing their taxes.

6. They thought something bad might happen because they were told it held "an ancient, evil power."

7. True

8. A spatula

9. You'd jump on the person and dry hump 'em.

10. Backdoor Sluts 9

11. True

12. Token

13. Yes

14. A great ringworm

15. Cartman shouted "fags!" at the kids who were playing Harry Potter.

16. A small army of sixth graders on bicycles.

17. They went to play with the Harry Potter kids.

18. Butters' dad inquired about the whereabouts of his son. The question was addressed to Stan, Cartman and Kyle.

Simpsons Already Did It
His faithful companion, General Disarray kept repeating the words, "Simpsons did it! Simpsons did it!" He created a machine to take the cherries out of chocolate-covered cherries and replace them with two-month old mayonnaise after he watched all 132 episodes of The Simpsons, twice.

WHO SAID IT?
Bebe's mom in Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society

LIGHTS, CAMERA, COMMENTARY
The New Terrance and Phillip Movie Trailer

PROFESSOR CHAOS

1. When Butters asked why he was fired as a friend in the episode's opening sequence, Cartman replied, "it's not working out." He was also told that he was too lame. Is any part of that statement incorrect?

2. What became Butters' rallying cry when he dedicated his life to bringing chaos to the world?

3. There was a $10 entrance fee to participate in the contest to become the boys' next friend plus two other expenditures. Do you remember what they were?

4. Harmless Prank or Evil Scheme? You tell us. Would you answer "the former" or "the latter" if we asked you to categorize Professor Chaos' first deed?

5. Having a friend who could get you to the front of almost any line would be awesome, wouldn't it? Just think of all the extra rides you could go on at an amusement park. That certainly helped Jimmy's cause, but he was also penalized for something that was beyond his control. What was Cartman referring to when he remarked, "that's gonna cost (him) some points"?

6. What were the kids who were eliminated at the end of each round asked to do?

7. True or False: The eyebrows on Butters' face arched every time he talked to himself in the voice of his alter ego?

8. What did Butters conclude from the note that read, "I know who you are"?

9. How did Dougie discover Butters' secret identity?

10. Dougie's first task as General Disarray involved a search of some sorts. Do you remember what he was asked to find?

11. There was a sign that read, "No Stairway to Heaven!" in the music store that Wayne and Garth frequented in Wayne's World. What problem did Towelie encounter when he tried to play that song in the talent contest?

12. You remember who won the talent contest, don't you? Could a person with one good hand duplicate the same act?

13. Someone was eliminated from the competition at Coors Field. Tell us who, and why.

14. We'll give you the answer to this one, you give us the question - Because he tried to do it with a garden hose.

15. The polar ice caps would have melted away if Professor Chaos' last scheme succeeded. Did he try to destroy the Earth's ozone layer with deodorant, hairspray or a combination of the two?

16. Whose personality would have conflicted with Cartman's the most if they were chosen for the group?

17. A narrator injected with the answer to three different questions in the episode's closing sequence. We'll tell you what those answers were. What we want you to do is to repeat the questions - "No, Tweek and Ms. Choksondik."

Naughty or nice? The accountant that was hired to compile a list of Cartman's good deeds in Red Sleigh Down found only three deductions. There would have been four if he bought the argument that was made in favor of hitting someone in the nuts with a slingshot. Another number was mentioned when Cartman tried to explain why that deed should have counted. What did it refer to?

Red Hot Catholic Love How many people would shove food up their ass and then crap out of their mouth if they A. could and B. knew it was good for them? If there were any, it wouldn't be because there were any health benefits. Why was the Surgeon General in favor of Intero-rectogestion?

Every evil scheme that Professor Chaos, aka Butters, came up with in Simpsons Already Did It was done by a character on The Simpsons. All except one, he thought. Who kept reminding him of that fact and what did his last scheme involve?

A LADDER
TO HEAVEN

1. Some questions just scream the word HEADLINE. File this one under the title of Impossible Task #232. Who came up with the idea to build a ladder to Heaven?

2. It wasn't a spiritual quest that inspired the ladder's construction. The boys were simply looking for a misplaced ticket stub that entitled them to a shopping spree. What was the name of the candy shop?

3. Stan gave the winning ticket to Cartman because he thought he'd lose it. Cartman handed it to Kyle for the same reason. Why did Kyle pass it off to Kenny?

4. You remember how Kenny got inside of Cartman's body, don't you? He mistook his ashes for some chocolate milk mix. Did he offer to share that milk with anyone else?

5. The table that Kenny's urn was kept on was missing a leg. What was used to keep it level?

6. True or False: Cartman wasn't the only one who thought Kenny's urn was a teapot?

7. How do the children in South Park differ from most of the adults, appearance-wise? Well, other than their stature, they don't have ears or a nose. The reason why we used the words "most of" was because the episode included an adult who lacked one or the other, maybe both. You tell us. Was it Jimbo, Mrs. McCormick or the reporter who broke the news about the ladder to Heaven?

8. The song that Alan Jackson wrote about the ladder to Heaven included a reference to one of his other songs - a tribute to victims of 9-11. What was the title of that song?

9. The boys gathered all the junk they could find when they ran out of wood. Old tires, mailboxes, chairs, you name it. Did the ladder to Heaven include any ladders?

10. When the Japanese caught wind of the boys' ladder, they started building one of their own - at a rate of 1000 miles per day. How tall would the boys' ladder have been if they were able to complete a tenth of that length each day for the duration of the project?

11. What would Stan's dad have been referring to if he exclaimed, "who is he trying to kid? That's not Heaven and those aren't angels. Look at them!"

12. Remember the song that asked the question, "can you see what I see?" The memories that Cartman saw through Kenny's eyes were triggered by three blows to the head. What was he hit with?

13. If you're going to replace the ashes in someone's urn with kitty litter, at least have the decency to use a fresh scoop. Did the litter in Kenny's urn contain any poop?

14. Who was Cartman talking to when he quipped, "I've never heard the words only and candy used in the same sentence before"?

15. What's more insane; bombing Heaven or believing that Saddam Hussein was there, building a missile silo under the guise of a cookie factory? The Pentagon claimed to have proof along with an explanation of how he got there. How was that question answered?

16. The episode ended with a clap of thunder and two words from Saddam Hussein. What were the words and what were they in reference to?

Are you sick of your parents? Do you want revenge for something they've done to you?
Those questions appeared in the ad for the Parental Revenge Center of Western America in the episode entitled My Future Self n' Me. There were a couple of other ads in the same newspaper that were even more enticing. What did each service offer?

THE RETURN OF THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING TO THE TWO TOWERS

1. The One Ring changed hands no less than five times in Peter Jackson's epic trilogy. Eight characters touched the Lord of the Rings box in The Return of the Fellowship. Name six for one point, seven for two or all eight for three.

2. A quest of an entirely different nature would have been undertaken in the episode's opening sequence if Cartman got his way. What was Stan asked to retrieve?

3. Cartman's costume never changed in the episode, but oddly enough, his character name did. We'll give you two points if you can name either one.

4. The boys acted like they spotted a dragon when they saw the headlights of a car. The color of that vehicle was brown. What color(s) did the viewer see when Stan's dad stripped down to a thong?

5. You've heard the term, "where were the parents!?" right? What were Butters' parents doing while their son was watching BDS9?

6. When Stan's dad realized what happened, he asked the boys to return the tape immediately and not to look at it. But you know what happens whenever you ask a child not to do something, don't you? The temptation must have been overwhelming. Why did they resist?

7. True or False: The boys were promised a "great reward," but Stan's dad never elaborated on what the reward would be?

8. Stan's costume included a pair of spoons and forks. What kitchen utensil was drawn when Kyle exclaimed, "gentlemen, we are off!"?

9. Butters acted out a scene from BDS9 after Kyle remarked, "if you're going to hang out with us, you have to play like Lord of the Rings." What would you do to the person standing nearest to you if we asked you to do the same?

10. That's twice now that we've referred to the tape as BDS9. What was the full title of the movie?

11. True or False: The movie was described as "the single, most vile, twisted, dark piece of porn ever made."

12. Here's a twist on the old pick a card, guess the card trick. The deck we're playing with contains 20 cards. Each one of those cards includes some information about the episode we're quizzing you on. Most are character profiles. Your task is to guess which card we've chosen based on three clues. If you need more than one, the point value will drop to two and then one if you need all three. Try not to look at the last two clues if you're playing the game alone.
Clue #1 This person's costume consisted of a red cape, a green, long-sleeve shirt and a strainer for a helmet.
Clue #2 Replied, " I don't know. I don't want to know. I'm out," to the question of what he saw.
Clue #3 "Talingharr the Black"

13. If Kenny's soul really was trapped inside of Cartman's body, he could have been counted as a member of the Fellowship. Was he?

14. What type of creature was believed to inhabit the town of Bailey?

15. If you're a fan of Harry Potter, you may want to skip this next question. Most everyone got a good laugh, including yours truly at that franchise's expense when this happened. What are we referring to?

16. Who and/or what was headed in Jimmy's direction when he tried to exclaim, "you shall not pass!"

17. A third of the Fellowship turned back when Cartman decided to cross a stream. Where did the other kids go?

18. What was the last question in the episode and to whom was it addressed?